Valentine's Die Another Day

Okay, so this happened last Valentine's Day, and my current relationship status is "status quo". i.e. Single. Or, 'Still Single'. Even blunt: #ForeverAlone

The key question that lies ahead is this: "How long?" The rest is like a Maniratnam's movie, with the conversation simply juggling around the single-word questions: What. Why. Where. How. When. K.

And my position in all these: Helpless. Apparently, one needs to know and have a knack of getting someone romantically involved, and I, like many others I know, seem to lack it. You can't blame us. We're just waiting for the Universe to answer our prayers. "Why don't you try on your own?", you might ask. "Will you get the slaps for me?" I would ask.

Yeah, that's how it is right now. That's how it has been, and that's how it will be too. What? Seriously. Say I "like" someone. One doesn't just go and propose, does he? Okay, not proposing directly. Well, ask her out, maybe? No. If that's how I like her, I can't even talk when I'm in front of her. Those who might've fallen in love and come out alive, will know this. And to those who're drowned already - my condolences. You're no longer on your own.

Yeah, what was I saying? Yeah, this just-go-talk-to-her-and-nothing-will-happen thing doesn't work. Not at all.

Case 1 : You know the girl, and are her good friend

You weigh the realities, postulate some positives, neglect the negatives, make your mind up, get a wretched red rose, go to her, set your foot down firm, and there ends the story. The probability of the following happening, has been 0.979, since 10,000 BC:
  • You call her.
  • She responds.
  • You smile because you can't resist.
  • She smiles back. Courtesy.
  • You try to talk, and you become Himesh Reshammaiyya; you'll start with a screeching throat's vowel.
  • She waits for you to talk.
  • You know you can't talk, and try making a conversation with a question. Like, "had lunch?".
  • She says just a "ya?" irrespective of having that one idly with a spoon, and notices the rose in you hand.
  • You just don't / can't hear what she just said, and think of saying it out straight.
  • She stares at you.
  • No matter what your mother tongue is, you try proposing in Holy English, and start with "I....".
  • She stares at you.
  • "I..."
  • She stares at you with a "???".
  • "I..."
  • She looks away.
  • "I love you!"
  • Turns to you and says, "WHAT???"
  • You take a deep breath, and finally become the one with the face of a prisoner freed from a life sentence.
  • "What? I... I'm just... I don't..."
  • You stare at her with a puppy face.
  • "I'm just your friend!"
  • "Oh!" You start weeping inside.
  • "We're just good friends, okay?"
  • "Hmmm... So... You don't..."
  • She walks away.
  • You stand there, look at her take every step away from you, till the red rose fades.

Case 2 : You don't know the girl, and she just caught your eye.

Everything's just the same as Case 1, till you say "I love you!".

She just slaps you hard; so hard that the petals of that rose dry, crumble and fall at your feet. And yes,
  • you stand there, look at her take every step away from you, till the red rose dims.
So what the hell can we guys do?

Hold on, I just got an idea: One can do nothing but rant on these all with a post, and wish others a Happy Valentine's Day, and go along with their every day routine.

So, Happy Valentine's Day!

Btw, Love is so so so magical. Isn't it? Sigh!


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